It's OK Not To Be OK
June 28, 2018
How many times have we said: "it's nothing", "I'm ok", "No, I don't need help" when we mean the opposite? I was raised to be a strong independent woman, to go after my dreams, to suck it up and move on.
I learned to be strong, resilient, and a fighter. But I also learned to hide my tears and not to show weakness. Asking for help wasn't for businesswomen. I had to not show emotions if I wanted to work in a corporate office. And I did it, because that was my dream. I wanted to be a CEO. I wasn't going let anyone walk over me.
After years of not showing emotions, and having horrible explosive fights that would end up in tears and bad relationships, I learned that I didn't know how to manage my emotions.
After my twin brother's death, and multiple shitty things following that, my anxiety and depression became too much. I didn't know how to handle it. It took the best out of me. I would spend days sitting in bed watching shows, telling myself that tomorrow I would start writing, filming, and applying to teach more. And it's true that working for yourself makes everything more intense.
After a few fights and tears with Matt (my bf) and lots of self-work, I've learned that is OK NOT TO BE OK. It's ok to open up, and say it out loud. To speak with someone. To write it down. To take a day off. To cry. And to do it often. To not wait until you explode.
As women, we can be strong but we can also cry, we can be CEO's and be super creative and caring. We don't have to choose. We can be both.
Don't apologize because you showed too much emotion. Say yes to stay in and be with yourself: take a walk, go and have a coffee with a friend and talk about how you feel, hold your friend's hand and be there for them. We need more of that.
Remember, it is ok to say you are not ok.