I Am Not Sorry

March 31st, 2018

 

I am not sorry.  But I am still so sorry.

 

 

I am not sorry that I voluntarily went home with him.  I am not sorry that I said no.

 

I am sorry for his actions.  I am sorry when his roommate walked in that he did nothing.

 

 

I am not sorry it was “annoying” that I was uncomfortable and protested hanging out at his apartment, even though my “best friend” was dating his housemate and it was the “cool” place to pregame.  

 

I am sorry that I went, sat there in his presence, and pretended like nothing was wrong every time my friends wanted to go there.  

 

I am not sorry that I realized my “best friend” was not a friend at all.  I am not sorry for standing up for those who were not believed.

 

 

I am sorry that I did not do more.  I am sorry that the chances of him facing recourse for his actions in a court of law are slim.  I am sorry that my knowledge of this has prevented me from trying.

 

I am not sorry for putting myself first.  I am not sorry for attending law school, in hopes to one day change many unjust laws.

 

I am sorry that in the meantime, I will not become a criminal prosecutor, because of my disapproval of the United States criminal justice and prison systems.  

 

 

I am not sorry for who I am.  I am not sorry I have walls.

 

I am sorry that I have not been vocal.  I am sorry I could not say “Me Too.” I am sorry I was scared.

 

 

I am not sorry for sharing my story now.

 

    I am sorry for those who did not get a chance to share their own.

 

Elaina Aquila